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NYFW feat. Mary J. Blige
Auntie Appreciation 🌸
In honor of NYFW & Black History Month; I’d like to give auntie Mary (IYKYK) , a legend [not up for debate EVER] – I’d like to give her all her flowers. Specifically; As a legend of looks! One thing about Mary J Blige, she is going to give us a look with paired with her signature thigh high boot. We (me lol) L O V E the aesthetics of a thigh high.
MCM X Timberland IYKYK= If you know, you know.
An honorable mention for Misa Hylton as one of the few stylists behind many of Mary’s looks. A GEM! Mary has been well versed giving us street, elegance, sexy and casual, costume I CAN GO ON! . I think it’s pretty clear I think most if not all of the looks we’ve gotten over the years are ‘GWAK’ worthy.
Hakan Akkaya X Louboutin X DSquared Check out some of her most recent looks that needed the full attention of my spirit LOL, to be able to take in how much she just gets IT– Every damn time! Superbowl 2022 , I am still in amazement how she continuously delivers from her performances to her outfits and never misses a beat. Truly understanding her assignment! A++ What are some of your favorite looks?
Post some of your Favorite MJB looks in the comments!
Peter Dundas X Sergio Rossi 
Chanel 
Peter Dundas X Casadei 
Christian Cowan X Amorir Studio 
Ferragamo X Gucci 
Mary X Misa -
New York Fashion Week has begun!
Tom Ford
Metallic Crystal Ankle-Tie Sandals
4.25 inches . Halter slingback & Wrap-around ankle ties.
$3950
First seen in October of 2021.
These babies might be just as painful as they look for the average luxurious black girl. YES black, It’s still BHM . Anyhow , I L O V E a detailed sandal. I personally am not a fan of wrap-around ankle ties sandals however, THESE E A T . Lets talk about making a ‘casual’outfit a lot less casual and add some extra bling. WE (ME, I) lol love anything extra. LETS STAND OUT. In light of comfortability – similar to Tom Ford’s Padlock Naked Sandal with a much thinner front strap & wrap-around buckle; this might require a little less “push through” given the much thicker front strap.
Since were talking heels, here’s a link to one of my favorite websites to shop for stilettos; Public Desire. These tie up stilettos are for aesthetics since they are far from comfortable. Currently my favorite pair of ankle wrap/ tie up stilettos that I own. Safe to say- I am definitely more of a pump girl, but one thing about a stiletto I’m still gonna wear it.. . in the name of fashion! Happy N Y F W 2022.
Public Desire
Huni Tie Up Stiletto
4.5 inches!
$50 -
Not explaining, but let me tell you. .
Experience 37 – 42 OF 365.
As if it already isn’t obvious, things happen – hence why this is just being published. 6 weeks into 2022 and I just feel so grounded and soft with myself. AMAZING for me to presently feel. Corporate America is usually pretty hectic for me especially with the revolving holidays, but THIS WEEK was such a breeze.
I noticed myself feeling so calm that I almost ruined it by trying to convince myself “I’m clearly forgetting to do something; why do I feel this relaxed – ON THE CLOCK”. I didn’t forget anything. What I was actually feeling was is my anxiety forced into silenced from not having to go automatically into ‘overdrive’.
Experience 37 – I slept and watched more TV after a great weekend with the girls. I said “no” to everything I didn’t feel like doing . Guilt would somehow show itself and I would FOLD, except I didn’t.
Experience 38 – I allowed myself to sit in a place and embrace that my work anxiety didn’t exist. I didn’t feel the need to be glued to my work phone or emails.
Experience 39 – After 2 years , I finally got to see my therapist in person again. I even made it my duty TO PAY THE METER! Lol. I have not had to pay a meter since 2020.
Experience 40 – Was full of so much spontaneity! My best friend got out of work early and happened to be BABY & SPOUSE FREE– so we went for food and drinks. I realized I missed my group therapy session. The moment felt too good to even stress about it. I also skipped out on my scheduled blog post. I’ve apologized to my therapist. No shows are not good.
Experience 41 -I scrolled through social media endlessly. I usually post and go about my day; maybe reply here or there. This sense of relaxation I have been feeling – I allowed myself to take full advantage. My algorithm is full of funnies & fashion. No convincing necessary here!
Experience 42 – I go so much done by 5pm – I WAS ALMOST SHOCKED. There were hiccups but the way I’ve been knocking them out the MF park. I’m truly grateful for the tools!
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Girl’s Night Out : Who are you wearing?
Coat: UGG Australia
Boots: CASAEDIGirls Night Out: Fashion Ties!
This G.N.O was planned maybe 2 months in advance. The girls kept pushing it since we live in different states and general ‘life’ stuff.
This was NOT the outfit I had planned, in fact- the boots for the original outfit was delivered THE DAY AFTER this photo was taken. The heighten anxiety prior to was REAL. It is usually so difficult for me to break routine when my mind has been set on something. The DBT skill (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) of radical acceptance kicked in since I couldn’t change the delivery date nor go in the stock room and get it my damn self.
I love fashion and just the feeling and confidence that come with being ‘dressed’. The unique pieces, taking the risk some won’t imagine. I love serving the look even more than actually getting dressed! . This specific night, we (the girls) just allowed ourselves to just ‘be’ despite our hectic lives. Personally speaking, each moment of laughter and thought’s that were shared – I embraced. I allowed myself to take the time to bask and be with my girls.
OK so how does ‘fashion tie’?
There was just so much anxiety present for me, from having to reschedule, being unsure when my boots would arrive, having to come up with a different outfit that I felt would immediately lift my spirits and also DELIVER. This outfit did exactly that. I looked good and felt great which allowed me to be present in each moment with the girls. I wore my energy, my aura.
Hattie Oversized Coat by UGG
Snake Print Boots by CASAEDI -
Let’s get real & abandon self sabotaging habits.
As we grow and have experiences, we learn behaviors that feel like they are just beneficial to us given our environments and current life experiences. PLOT TWIST: though these behaviors may have been helpful and lead us to truly believe that these habits will help us move through and ‘handle’ life in generally.
ABSOLUTELY NOT !. Some if not ALL of those behaviors require a lot of observation , awareness and re-evaluation. Does this really work for me? How does this make me feel? I follow a page on I.G that had a thread that significantly resonated with me at some point in my personal journey and career.
Dating prior, I would just KNOW a person was emotionally unavailable to date me but would still want to try anyway in the name of I physical attraction and 'potential'. I knew better but chose not to do better. There was trauma based comfort and familiarity present. This can happen with friendships too. 
I remember beating myself up and blaming myself for the inability of others to change or adapt to change. Often making myself SUFFER thinking it was me – knowing that I did what I could’ve and the rest was out of my control. My anxiety heighten and the need to be ‘self sufficient’ was prevalent. There was NO WAY that I would need anyone. This wasn’t growth, it was fear and my inability to simply speak up. 
Imposter syndrome is real. I've experienced it and still do- but given the proper tools I am able to effectively navigate through. THANK YOU GLENDA ! (My Therapist). I always knew I was 'that girl' growing up, I just wanted everyone else to acknowledge it - and they wouldn't. FRUSTRATING AF. It was out of my control but would still internalize the feeling. It made it so hard for me to truly accept compliments. Like I said, I knew I was THAT girl but I would fight it. Why was it so hard for everyone else to receive that? Self-Awareness and acceptance definitely has been changing that narrative for me! 10/10. 
This was the hardest(still is sometimes) since boundaries can be hard to set as they can come of ‘selfishly’ however, how it comes off ISN’T ANY OF YOUR CONCERN. Not having set any IS YOUR CONCERN. Lack of boundaries can cause immense amounts of stress, wasted time – its as if you’re allowing others to tell you what you think and how you feel. #IONTLIKEDAT. 
This one I think is pretty self explanatory. LET IT TF GO. It will be hard. You may feel like you can just ‘put it to the side’. You might cry. You might get 1billion flashback of ‘all the good times’. If you have any RELATION shitSHIP* that feels like you cannot take up space or be yourself. It is definitely time to transition. It must be uncomfortable there.
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So you’re your harshest critic?
Throughout the years I’ve noticed how hard I would be on myself with EVERYTHING. It wouldn’t matter if it was my first attempt – I would automatically expect it to be my best work since; I have already mentally pictured it in my head, it should be perfect once I’ve executed. No room for mistakes. The problem, it wasn’t perfect & would also have a hard time accepting it. I’d have a difficult time regulating my emotions when things fell though or didn’t work out how I ‘d have it visualized in my head.
I wouldn’t consider that it was my first time, or that I may not have had all the tools amongst many of other factors. I would associate my ‘short comings’ as personal flaws & internalize them, instead of acknowledging that I’ve tried something for the first time & I did my best with what I knew to do at the time.
7 Graceful reminders
- Give yourself permission to do the things that you feel you’re being called to do.
- Remind yourself that the only validation you really need, is that you’re being called to do something that you love & believe in.
- Release the thoughts & feelings that no longer server you. It’s OK to choose what you want to carry & what has gotten heavy. LET IT GO.
- Acknowledge & adjust to the things that work for you & serve your needs. Your time & interests are not optional.
- Create the things that are fulfilling & will continue our 365 new experiences. Without personal growth, we can feel stagnated.
- Pour into yourself so you’re not serving from an empty platter.
- Embrace your purpose whether it feels seasonal or timeless. It will best serve you & those in need of what you have to offer.
Grace: (Noun); disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency
“grace,” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/grace. Accessed 1/23/2022. -
Hot girl budgets .
Budgeting doesn’t ever seem to be the easiest thing for me to stick by. I decided my intentions behind this plan to budget , are solid. Since it’s my first time, I had no idea where to start —but I started 🤷🏾♀️. I usually avoid doing things that aren’t necessarily my kind of creative. IT DOES NOT WORK. Avoidance only creates terrible anxiety for me & that is nothing that serves me any good😣. We’re in this together; Let’s pact on a 6-week check in to see where we are with our hot girl budget! 3 tips where to start when creating a budget :
- Determine your monthly income.
- Identify your high-priority bills.
- Estimate other expenses.
2022, anxiety, anxious, ari, arilennox, Audience, aura, black, black girl, blackfemaletherapists, blackgirlmagic, blacktherapistsmatter, brunch, decisions, energy, everyday, expierence, fairy, fashin, fashion, health, influence, Insecure, intention, intentional, into, intro, introduction, lennox, lifestyle, mental health, mental health awareness, millenialblackgirl, millennial, millennialblackgirl, minority, personal, pressure, relatable, relief, results, skills, skils for black girls, style, theefairygodmother, therapyforblackgirls, welcome -
Intention or Talk?
To be intentional, you would embody focus & commitment, to things that are truly important to you & you feel contributes to your personal growth & are genuinely fulfilling. You know your clear purpose & can now structure your mind to become more present & help you achieve whatever it is that you desire. Intention is PERSONAL. 5 questions to ask yourself when being intentional:
- What am I giving up?
- What am I willing to give up? Change? Limit? Go without? Subsitute?
- Am I being honest with myself?
- Did I sit with my emotions about this? Did I feel through them?
- How does this make me feel?
- Is this against something I morally stand for, since intention IS personal.
- What do I want to gain by this?
- How would this add value to who I am? Who i’m becoming?
- Am I doing this because I want to?
- Did I make this decision based of influence or is it gratifying to the person I am now/continuously becoming?
- What am I giving up?
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New Year, New Experience?
2022? Most times we are making resolutions that we probably won’t keep or getting ready to head out to church for the first AND last time for the year, intentionally & then the year kinda goes by right? Lots of should’ve, would’ve, but didn’t’s. I challenge you to make every day in 2022 , a BRAND NEW experience. THAT’S RIGHT we’re already 12 days into our 365 day challenge ! Start small & make sure you are intentional with your experiences. What are you trying to accomplish? What am I trying to do differently? What no longer ‘serves’ me?
Here, i’ll start with my 12 of 365 NEW experiences : 1- I’ve made a ‘work friend’. 2- I’ve been actively learning how to negotiate better. 3- Took a different route to work. 4- I left a product review on an amazon purchase. 5- Cooked a meal from an actual cookbook! 6- My hair, HOT PINK! 7- I watched “ This Christmas” .. first time ever. 8- Babysat an 8 month old for an hour WITHOUT any help. lol 9- Actively speaking up generally 10- Rode a motorcycle. 11- Had a steak & egg breakfast.. 12- I tapped into my creativity by intentionally launching this piece of me.🧚🏾♀️
2022, anxiety, anxious, Audience, aura, black, black girl, blackfemaletherapists, blackgirlmagic, blacktherapistsmatter, energy, everyday, expierence, fairy, fashion, health, influence, Insecure, intention, into, intro, introduction, lifestyle, mental health awareness, minority, personal, relatable, relief, skills, style, theefairygodmother, welcome -
TASC: Thee Fairygodmother !🧚🏾♀️
WELCOME! Since my personal style has brought me great satisfaction & confidence in times where sprits has been questionable; why not share since I’m soooo ‘relatable’ .. right?. It (my style), tells stories & are form of expression that has subconciously aided me throughout the years.
Whether it has been the receipt of compliments, curiosity of pieces, hairstyles , accessories , fashion tips, mental health chat— along with just being able to genuinely relate, keeps me going! Even when that isn’t necessarily what I might feel like doing. Having the knowledge, awareness AND having expierences of some; if not all common yet diluted & disregarded unhealthy defenses/responses specific to/from black women who don’t feel as if they have the space to just be; being able and available to advise is fulfilling. I choose to share with you the person & the professional comparatively. .. WITH ADDED STYLE OF COURSE!
After my own undergo of highs & low’s from living the life I was granted by unlearning the things and behaviors that no longer serves my black girl adult experiences -I choose to share personal experiences, skills , coping mechanisims , releases and more that helps me embrace the purpose I was ganted. My ‘life-styling’ tips won’t allow you to look or feel like your experiences. Are you willing to challenge yourself on learning how to unlearn?
-Terry-Ann.S.C. 2022, anxiety, anxious, aura, black, black girl, blackfemaletherapists, blackgirlmagic, blacktherapistsmatter, energy, everyday, expierence, fairy, fashion, health, influence, Insecure, intention, intro, introduction, lifestyle, mental health awareness, minority, personal, relatable, relief, skills, style, theefairygodmother, welcome
a Self Awareness Maven 