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Use your voice, SPEAK UP.
We say and hear over and over “closed mouths don’t get fed” and honey; TRUER words have not been spoken since!
Like many people I know, I come from a “ be seen & not heard” upbringing that I have applied it subconsciously to areas and circumstances that were ineffective as FUCKKKKKK . It worked against me. In hindsight it was SO obvious, I just had a different perspective at the time.🤷🏾♀️ There are soooooo many things that I have been experiencing as of recent & are new to me these days. I have learned to trust my instincts based on how my body responds AT THAT TIME.
If it makes me uncomfortable, I do what I need to to in response. How do you expect friends to know that you’re in need? How do you expect people to know that you ‘respectfully disagree’? The people are around you {professional or personal} aren’t necessarily mind readers . It’s kinda unfair to assume that people int your life should/need to check in with YOU. YOU’RE GONNA NEED TO SPEAK THE F**K – not matter how justified we believe our thoughts and feelings are.
Every one has enough that they take on. With that being said – it’ content week and I got some stuffffff I’m ready to share with ya’ll so- I would love for you guys to subscribe, comment and interact with these posts. -See what I did there? Asking for the support that I would appreciate from you all 🥰. I’ll be including a Q & A section so stay tuned for that. – Thank you Theefairygodmother🧚🏾♀️
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Burning out hunnie.😓
It felt like I had so much to get done and no time. Irritated, easily frustrated – down to a penny falling made me F L I P P P P chile! I am a ‘perfectionist’ that sets unrealistically high standards for myself most times & that shit seems to backfire in the moment I was J U S T getting ready to pace myself.
That’s really what It feels like but I know , I procrastinate since I feel I produce my best work under pressure(YIKES) – Great for work ethic and academics but BAD for my anxiety(most importantly).
Anyway , I just did things that felt good to do as I was doing them and took lots and lots of photos and content to share sometime that fits. My beautiful niece is so obsessed and attached to me, I love it! Her big brother, my first baby – my nephew is just growing so fast it feels un-real. My niece is going on 11 months and all she says is“no, no. no” because that’s what she hears most often.. LOL – she’s a great kid though.
I found a new favorite drink. ‘Lemon Drop’ 🍋. I’m in love! usually, anything lemon flavored or scented I would AUTOMATICALLY associate with Lysol. But this drink honey. The sugar on the rim and the right amount of tartness. This was my drink for the weekend. (I’ll talk about that some other time , maybe.)
I went to visit the white house.
I was a little underwhelmed. I think I was expecting this well lit , beautifully gardened lawn, and maybe Uncle Luke on the turn tables, but instead this is what I got. LOL no complaints cause I really like this blurred 📸.
Hoping maybe they would’ve been having a cook out or something in the Rose Garden. 😂 It was also 2 AM. 🌚I also just wanted to let you all know I am still here, getting dressed and taking care of my brain space so that I can share what I got and alternatives that might work for you , maybe even add your own twist !
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NYFW feat. Mary J. Blige
Auntie Appreciation 🌸
In honor of NYFW & Black History Month; I’d like to give auntie Mary (IYKYK) , a legend [not up for debate EVER] – I’d like to give her all her flowers. Specifically; As a legend of looks! One thing about Mary J Blige, she is going to give us a look with paired with her signature thigh high boot. We (me lol) L O V E the aesthetics of a thigh high.
MCM X Timberland IYKYK= If you know, you know.
An honorable mention for Misa Hylton as one of the few stylists behind many of Mary’s looks. A GEM! Mary has been well versed giving us street, elegance, sexy and casual, costume I CAN GO ON! . I think it’s pretty clear I think most if not all of the looks we’ve gotten over the years are ‘GWAK’ worthy.
Hakan Akkaya X Louboutin X DSquared Check out some of her most recent looks that needed the full attention of my spirit LOL, to be able to take in how much she just gets IT– Every damn time! Superbowl 2022 , I am still in amazement how she continuously delivers from her performances to her outfits and never misses a beat. Truly understanding her assignment! A++ What are some of your favorite looks?
Post some of your Favorite MJB looks in the comments!
Peter Dundas X Sergio Rossi 
Chanel 
Peter Dundas X Casadei 
Christian Cowan X Amorir Studio 
Ferragamo X Gucci 
Mary X Misa -
New York Fashion Week has begun!
Tom Ford
Metallic Crystal Ankle-Tie Sandals
4.25 inches . Halter slingback & Wrap-around ankle ties.
$3950
First seen in October of 2021.
These babies might be just as painful as they look for the average luxurious black girl. YES black, It’s still BHM . Anyhow , I L O V E a detailed sandal. I personally am not a fan of wrap-around ankle ties sandals however, THESE E A T . Lets talk about making a ‘casual’outfit a lot less casual and add some extra bling. WE (ME, I) lol love anything extra. LETS STAND OUT. In light of comfortability – similar to Tom Ford’s Padlock Naked Sandal with a much thinner front strap & wrap-around buckle; this might require a little less “push through” given the much thicker front strap.
Since were talking heels, here’s a link to one of my favorite websites to shop for stilettos; Public Desire. These tie up stilettos are for aesthetics since they are far from comfortable. Currently my favorite pair of ankle wrap/ tie up stilettos that I own. Safe to say- I am definitely more of a pump girl, but one thing about a stiletto I’m still gonna wear it.. . in the name of fashion! Happy N Y F W 2022.
Public Desire
Huni Tie Up Stiletto
4.5 inches!
$50 -
Not explaining, but let me tell you. .
Experience 37 – 42 OF 365.
As if it already isn’t obvious, things happen – hence why this is just being published. 6 weeks into 2022 and I just feel so grounded and soft with myself. AMAZING for me to presently feel. Corporate America is usually pretty hectic for me especially with the revolving holidays, but THIS WEEK was such a breeze.
I noticed myself feeling so calm that I almost ruined it by trying to convince myself “I’m clearly forgetting to do something; why do I feel this relaxed – ON THE CLOCK”. I didn’t forget anything. What I was actually feeling was is my anxiety forced into silenced from not having to go automatically into ‘overdrive’.
Experience 37 – I slept and watched more TV after a great weekend with the girls. I said “no” to everything I didn’t feel like doing . Guilt would somehow show itself and I would FOLD, except I didn’t.
Experience 38 – I allowed myself to sit in a place and embrace that my work anxiety didn’t exist. I didn’t feel the need to be glued to my work phone or emails.
Experience 39 – After 2 years , I finally got to see my therapist in person again. I even made it my duty TO PAY THE METER! Lol. I have not had to pay a meter since 2020.
Experience 40 – Was full of so much spontaneity! My best friend got out of work early and happened to be BABY & SPOUSE FREE– so we went for food and drinks. I realized I missed my group therapy session. The moment felt too good to even stress about it. I also skipped out on my scheduled blog post. I’ve apologized to my therapist. No shows are not good.
Experience 41 -I scrolled through social media endlessly. I usually post and go about my day; maybe reply here or there. This sense of relaxation I have been feeling – I allowed myself to take full advantage. My algorithm is full of funnies & fashion. No convincing necessary here!
Experience 42 – I go so much done by 5pm – I WAS ALMOST SHOCKED. There were hiccups but the way I’ve been knocking them out the MF park. I’m truly grateful for the tools!
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Girl’s Night Out : Who are you wearing?
Coat: UGG Australia
Boots: CASAEDIGirls Night Out: Fashion Ties!
This G.N.O was planned maybe 2 months in advance. The girls kept pushing it since we live in different states and general ‘life’ stuff.
This was NOT the outfit I had planned, in fact- the boots for the original outfit was delivered THE DAY AFTER this photo was taken. The heighten anxiety prior to was REAL. It is usually so difficult for me to break routine when my mind has been set on something. The DBT skill (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) of radical acceptance kicked in since I couldn’t change the delivery date nor go in the stock room and get it my damn self.
I love fashion and just the feeling and confidence that come with being ‘dressed’. The unique pieces, taking the risk some won’t imagine. I love serving the look even more than actually getting dressed! . This specific night, we (the girls) just allowed ourselves to just ‘be’ despite our hectic lives. Personally speaking, each moment of laughter and thought’s that were shared – I embraced. I allowed myself to take the time to bask and be with my girls.
OK so how does ‘fashion tie’?
There was just so much anxiety present for me, from having to reschedule, being unsure when my boots would arrive, having to come up with a different outfit that I felt would immediately lift my spirits and also DELIVER. This outfit did exactly that. I looked good and felt great which allowed me to be present in each moment with the girls. I wore my energy, my aura.
Hattie Oversized Coat by UGG
Snake Print Boots by CASAEDI -
Intention or Talk?
To be intentional, you would embody focus & commitment, to things that are truly important to you & you feel contributes to your personal growth & are genuinely fulfilling. You know your clear purpose & can now structure your mind to become more present & help you achieve whatever it is that you desire. Intention is PERSONAL. 5 questions to ask yourself when being intentional:
- What am I giving up?
- What am I willing to give up? Change? Limit? Go without? Subsitute?
- Am I being honest with myself?
- Did I sit with my emotions about this? Did I feel through them?
- How does this make me feel?
- Is this against something I morally stand for, since intention IS personal.
- What do I want to gain by this?
- How would this add value to who I am? Who i’m becoming?
- Am I doing this because I want to?
- Did I make this decision based of influence or is it gratifying to the person I am now/continuously becoming?
- What am I giving up?
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New Year, New Experience?
2022? Most times we are making resolutions that we probably won’t keep or getting ready to head out to church for the first AND last time for the year, intentionally & then the year kinda goes by right? Lots of should’ve, would’ve, but didn’t’s. I challenge you to make every day in 2022 , a BRAND NEW experience. THAT’S RIGHT we’re already 12 days into our 365 day challenge ! Start small & make sure you are intentional with your experiences. What are you trying to accomplish? What am I trying to do differently? What no longer ‘serves’ me?
Here, i’ll start with my 12 of 365 NEW experiences : 1- I’ve made a ‘work friend’. 2- I’ve been actively learning how to negotiate better. 3- Took a different route to work. 4- I left a product review on an amazon purchase. 5- Cooked a meal from an actual cookbook! 6- My hair, HOT PINK! 7- I watched “ This Christmas” .. first time ever. 8- Babysat an 8 month old for an hour WITHOUT any help. lol 9- Actively speaking up generally 10- Rode a motorcycle. 11- Had a steak & egg breakfast.. 12- I tapped into my creativity by intentionally launching this piece of me.🧚🏾♀️
2022, anxiety, anxious, Audience, aura, black, black girl, blackfemaletherapists, blackgirlmagic, blacktherapistsmatter, energy, everyday, expierence, fairy, fashion, health, influence, Insecure, intention, into, intro, introduction, lifestyle, mental health awareness, minority, personal, relatable, relief, skills, style, theefairygodmother, welcome -
TASC: Thee Fairygodmother !🧚🏾♀️
WELCOME! Since my personal style has brought me great satisfaction & confidence in times where sprits has been questionable; why not share since I’m soooo ‘relatable’ .. right?. It (my style), tells stories & are form of expression that has subconciously aided me throughout the years.
Whether it has been the receipt of compliments, curiosity of pieces, hairstyles , accessories , fashion tips, mental health chat— along with just being able to genuinely relate, keeps me going! Even when that isn’t necessarily what I might feel like doing. Having the knowledge, awareness AND having expierences of some; if not all common yet diluted & disregarded unhealthy defenses/responses specific to/from black women who don’t feel as if they have the space to just be; being able and available to advise is fulfilling. I choose to share with you the person & the professional comparatively. .. WITH ADDED STYLE OF COURSE!
After my own undergo of highs & low’s from living the life I was granted by unlearning the things and behaviors that no longer serves my black girl adult experiences -I choose to share personal experiences, skills , coping mechanisims , releases and more that helps me embrace the purpose I was ganted. My ‘life-styling’ tips won’t allow you to look or feel like your experiences. Are you willing to challenge yourself on learning how to unlearn?
-Terry-Ann.S.C. 2022, anxiety, anxious, aura, black, black girl, blackfemaletherapists, blackgirlmagic, blacktherapistsmatter, energy, everyday, expierence, fairy, fashion, health, influence, Insecure, intention, intro, introduction, lifestyle, mental health awareness, minority, personal, relatable, relief, skills, style, theefairygodmother, welcome
a Self Awareness Maven 