a Self Awareness Maven

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  • What is the hardest decision you had to make? Why

    Forgiveness. Forgiving was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. Over the years i’ve definetly learned that forgiveness is more for myself and less about the other person. People are always going to ‘people’,which I just don’t always have time for that sh** to be honest🫠. Bigger fish to fry and I just can’t sit and ponder on why folks make the decisions and show up the way they do. I am only responsible for ME and how I show up. This fairy has never been jealous, bitter, or envious of anyone I’ve ever known long term or just met🤷🏾‍♀️.Weird. Holding grudges take way too much of MY peace so, just go to hell and dance by yourself there✌🏾. As for me, I forgive you and probably don’t want anything to do with you. My peace is the priority here babe.

    Forgiving used to be soooooo damn hard because I would always wonder why would they do that to me & what I done to deserve it. Experiences like these were what helped me on my ‘self awareness’ journey. Eventually learning that most times others behaviors are more about them and less of you – It became so much easier to forgive. Let them figure that out. I’ll figure me out – and in order to do that, I needed to forgive. Thanks for coming to my Terry Talk. LOL.

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  • Name your top 3 pet peeves.

    • When others can’t mind their own business. 4ever in others personals..Y’all don’t got no business? this kind of idle & nuff is unacceptable. Read a book informer📖
    • Unsolicited lies from anyone. WTF? Tsidgaf .🤥
    • The loudest person in any room🙉, lol SHHHHHH.. .Inside voices please!!🤫
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  • What’s the first impression you want to give people?

    Authenticity.

    I’d hope to give the first impression that ‘she’s authentic’ from EVERY aspect possible since that’s genuinely how I show up💖. She is to the point & direct. I belive it is important to be your most authentic self everywhere you go; regardless of the room you are in,It could be the laundry room LOL! That’s the only way other people are able to choose if they prefer to stick around or hit the road JACK!🐇🥕 .. & NO, that doesn’t mean to shrink to the size or comfortability of the room it means: Articulate & Annunciate, make your Yes’s and No’s CRYSTAL CLEAR. Leave room for compromise within your morals & values (OR NOT , Your choice🤷🏾‍♀️). Stay true to your boundaries within reason. Dress how you feel for the occassion & PUT THAT SHIT ON.👗

    Authenticity is when you know who you are & choose to confidently show up that way every single time. What first impression do you want to give people?🤔

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  • What age or year of my life would i re-live?

    I would re-live year 2018 = age 25🪷 without hesitation. I became super solid in who I know myself to be now at 32(except much better with age Ofc). Definitely more from a moral aspect, but overall a time was H A D chile💐. Learned how to play ‘the game’🙄🚯, the 9-5 game🙉, the boundaries🚯, the relationships🧬. Internally there was this ‘awakening’. Like the lamp💡 was lit but, & I was trying my hardest to put it out🧯.Very ‘ALI’ to this light.I had no idea WTF it was this whole time. I hope you’re picking up what im putting down here.. AMEN?, lol. & If you’re still not , this post may NOT be for you babe🛑. In hindsight, this man is SUUUUPER GRACIOUS, MMKAY! .. This was also the last year I had a full head of hair on purpose. Go FIGURE🤯. What Age would you re-live? Why💐

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  • Lazy daySs

    Do lazy days make you feel rested or unproductive? ʚїɞ

    Personally, there is no such thing as an ‘unproductive’ lazy day. In fact, I feel they are the MOST productive for myself. They allow me to rest, reset and reconnect for what’s next. Even if it is just a day. We are just simply not meant to produce 24/7🤷🏿‍♀️. It’s your prerogative if that’s what you choose – DO YOU, but as for me hunnie; the device is on do not disturb. I will ge back to all once this is over but as for now, this queen is ‘lazily’ taking care of herself.💖

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  • Best compliment?

    What was the best compliment you’ve received?

    ‘YOU HAVE A GREAT SPIRIT’
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  • Are we Gatekeeping Mental Health Issues?

    What exactly do I mean by this? Insinuating that there’s only one way Mental Illnesses can present itself, intentionally or unintentally minimizing and often invalidating the experiences of others, which can be/feel isolating . Many people would shy away from seeking help from a mental health professional because they now believe that their own experiences aren’t severe enough or that they’re just in their head. You are NOT in your head, your experiences are enough.

    Remember that people don’t have to suffer the same way you suffered in order for their experiences to be valid. Suffering will never look the same on any 2 individuals and is not a competition to see who can/has suffered the most. You shouldn’t feel like you need to prove that you’ve been struggling with your mental health.

    Gatekeeping may sound something like this:

    • You don’t get flashbacks? Oh you don’t have PTSD.
    • You can’t be depressed if you were able to leave the house.
    • Only people who are extremely depressed don’t go out.
    • If you were really struggling, you’d be checked in to a facility.
    • You’re not on medication? Then your illness can’t really be real.
    • If you don’t get anxiety attacks then you’re not really anxious.
    • If you can get up and go to work, your depression isn’t really real.

    In a nutshell if your struggle doesn’t look like ‘mine’ or the visuals we see in the media today -they’re probably not even real. Hearing any of the above from friends, family or even a stranger can be extremely triggering and invalidating causing the person who have these experiences to not seek the help that they may really need.

    Functioning depression is a real thing. Trust me when I say this. From the CEO down to the Janitor – Mental illnesses will not look the same on anyone. Ever.

    Okay Maven, so what is gatekeeping??

    Our good sis Merriam-Webster says { Yes, this is urban millennial talk LOL} Gatekeeping; 1:One who tends/guards the gate. 2:A person who controls access. In this aspect it’s when you’re trying to control who gets access to particular resources, power , opportunities and who does not. Gate keeping mental illnesses is setting a standard of what an experience should look like or feel like which is often invalidating to another person’s expierence that may not look or feel as society currently says it should.

    Take-Away

    Be mindful of how you show up or respond to someone that may express to you that they feel they may be in need of any kind of help with their mental health. IT TAKES COURAGE TO ADMIT that they may not be mentally well. It is ok to be just an ear. -Theefairygodmother 🧚🏾‍♀️

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  • Use your voice, SPEAK UP.

    We say and hear over and over “closed mouths don’t get fed” and honey; TRUER words have not been spoken since!

    Like many people I know, I come from a “ be seen & not heard” upbringing that I have applied it subconsciously to areas and circumstances that were ineffective as FUCKKKKKK . It worked against me. In hindsight it was SO obvious, I just had a different perspective at the time.🤷🏾‍♀️ There are soooooo many things that I have been experiencing as of recent & are new to me these days. I have learned to trust my instincts based on how my body responds AT THAT TIME.

    If it makes me uncomfortable, I do what I need to to in response. How do you expect friends to know that you’re in need? How do you expect people to know that you ‘respectfully disagree’? The people are around you {professional or personal} aren’t necessarily mind readers . It’s kinda unfair to assume that people int your life should/need to check in with YOU. YOU’RE GONNA NEED TO SPEAK THE F**K – not matter how justified we believe our thoughts and feelings are.

    Every one has enough that they take on. With that being said – it’ content week and I got some stuffffff I’m ready to share with ya’ll so- I would love for you guys to subscribe, comment and interact with these posts. -See what I did there? Asking for the support that I would appreciate from you all 🥰. I’ll be including a Q & A section so stay tuned for that. – Thank you Theefairygodmother🧚🏾‍♀️

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  • Burning out hunnie.😓

    It felt like I had so much to get done and no time. Irritated, easily frustrated – down to a penny falling made me F L I P P P P chile! I am a ‘perfectionist’ that sets unrealistically high standards for myself most times & that shit seems to backfire in the moment I was J U S T getting ready to pace myself.

    That’s really what It feels like but I know , I procrastinate since I feel I produce my best work under pressure(YIKES) – Great for work ethic and academics but BAD for my anxiety(most importantly).

    Anyway , I just did things that felt good to do as I was doing them and took lots and lots of photos and content to share sometime that fits. My beautiful niece is so obsessed and attached to me, I love it! Her big brother, my first baby – my nephew is just growing so fast it feels un-real. My niece is going on 11 months and all she says is“no, no. no” because that’s what she hears most often.. LOL – she’s a great kid though.

    I found a new favorite drink. ‘Lemon Drop’ 🍋. I’m in love! usually, anything lemon flavored or scented I would AUTOMATICALLY associate with Lysol. But this drink honey. The sugar on the rim and the right amount of tartness. This was my drink for the weekend. (I’ll talk about that some other time , maybe.)

    I went to visit the white house.

    I was a little underwhelmed. I think I was expecting this well lit , beautifully gardened lawn, and maybe Uncle Luke on the turn tables, but instead this is what I got. LOL no complaints cause I really like this blurred 📸.

    Hoping maybe they would’ve been having a cook out or something in the Rose Garden. 😂 It was also 2 AM. 🌚I also just wanted to let you all know I am still here, getting dressed and taking care of my brain space so that I can share what I got and alternatives that might work for you , maybe even add your own twist !

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  • That’s just how I was raised..

    When does this excuse become no longer acceptable?

    Answer: Never. I personally do not tolerate this as an excuse/defense/response. A C C O U N T A B I L I T Y .Please.

    Often times I hear people say this in regards to something that they have done or said that is probably u n f a v o r a b l e to the majority {or minority} and usually turns out to be in their own defense. Just because that is how you were taught, does that make it ‘universal’? Does that mean anything that challenges that belief is ‘wrong’? Personally, it’s equivalent to ‘that’s just how I am’ coming from a person who lacks any accountability. It’s not just because ‘that’s just how you were raised’, It’s that you subconsciously choose to reject anything that doesn’t align with what feels familiar to you – regardless if someone else gets the same results but had it worded/performed different.

    This has to be one of the best conversations in my opinion ,from one of my F A V O R I T E podcasts Guys Next Door.

    It raises so many questions especially coming from people that constantly seem to experience unfavorable situations and conversations. It is up to us to challenge our beliefs and up-bringing most times; considering that many of your parents did the best that they could with what they knew and how they were raised. The way you were raised does not determine your experiences; It however limiting to your experiences.

    As we age and encounter different experiences, we realize the way you have been responding to things based on your upbringing ARE NOT UNIVERSAL and isn’t the only way. There are multiple ways to respond and get things done. Understanding that two things can be true at once is important to keep in mind. I truly believe that it’s all about perspective and the given situation at hand( with emotions to the side). If we are able to acknowledge that there are different perspectives, It helps and is also very important when it’s time for you to be held accountable.With accountability comes vulnerability. Are you prepared for that?

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