As kids, we’re so open with who we allowed in our space as ‘friends’ . All we needed to know was that they had the 64-Pack Crayola with the built in sharpener & we were SOLD; the making of your first grade BFF. If we knew better, we’d do better and needless to say – we definitely didn’t know better but we were along for the ride because FUN was the priority.

Children were ruthless when I as growing up, most times nothing nice came out of our mouths on that playground. Much wasn’t required in friendships as children – all that mattered was fun and everything insignificant. There was absolutely no maintenance . The definition of young, wild and carefree.

As teenagers, friendships become more meaningful and can become complex. We’re coming into ourselves and discovering our identities and what intimacy includes which means there’s some self disclosure and required support in which our friendships come in handy. By this time we’re a more secure in who we are and tend to gravitate to friends that share similar values and likes and begin to invest in these friendships.

Now as an adult.. .

The emotional intelligence has heightened and much more is required from the relationship(s) that we choose to invest in. This time around, we actually know better now that we’ve had some experience with other individuals, and are aware that people generally don’t always mean you well – which makes it harder to make & maintain friends (both old and new as an adult)💡.

Also, we’re just busy. There are responsibilities, careers, children and sooo much more – that gets tossed in the mix that we try to juggle! It’s giving circus act. There isn’t much time to maintain most of the relationships we have. Often times we get together and end up venting about bigger life stresses, bills & partners while nourishing the already existing foundation isn’t a priority since subconsciously – the foundation already existed -Right?. . Wrong! As adults we have to be intentional about expanding & maintaining the foundation that originally was built at the core of who we are. The only way to know if the foundation has cracks; is if we’re being intentional about wanting to maintain these grounds to continue to flourish.🌷

Innocence is non – existent. As adults we’ve experienced so much by now to know nothing and nobody is perfect & people can be hurtful – which will change the dynamic of any relationship. Society also has influence because now there added societal standards along with our personal expectations that we’ve developed as a requirement overtime. As adults we want the relationships we invest in to also bring us value; we should be seen, heard, respected, understood & supported – basics.

Self Awareness.

As adults, we’re much more self aware than we were as children. Over the years, we’ve become concerned with what other people may of us think while picking apart our own existence. We know our strengths, weaknesses & desires in life. We have new & far developed ambitions which allows us to us decide who we choose to connect with and keep in our spaces. Life experiences play a major part in adult friendships vs childhood friendships as we gravitate to those with similar wants needs and experiences. While many things set the two apart, it is imperative that we take a step back and acknowledge that a lot of our friendship frustrations as adults are things that we’ve allowed to developed overtime. GO FIGURE🤯. Being intentional about maintaining the foundations will require lots of accountability, grace and compromise.

So ask yourself, are you intentional with the foundations you’ve been part of? Where can you step it up? What is now required that wasn’t previously required? What do you need to ask for that you’ve failed to mention? Can you offer all that it is that you require ? How open is your communication? Is this worth maintaining or dismantling?

Theefairygodmother🧚🏾‍♀️