What do I really mean by this? It’s suggesting that there’s only one way Mental Illnesses can show up, which can intentionally or unintentionally downplay and often dismiss the experiences of others, making them feel isolated. A lot of folks might hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional because they think their own experiences aren’t serious enough or that it’s just all “in their head”.

You are not just in your head; your experiences matter.

Keep in mind that people don’t have to go through the same struggles you did for their experiences to count. Suffering looks different for everyone and it’s not a contest to see who has suffered the most. You shouldn’t feel like you have to prove that you’ve been dealing with mental health issues.

Gatekeeping may sound something like this:

• You don’t have flashbacks? Oh, you can’t have PTSD.
• You can’t be depressed if you managed to leave the house.
• Only those who are really depressed don’t go out.
• If you were truly struggling, you’d be in a facility.
• Are you on medication? Then your illness can’t be that real.
• If you don’t have anxiety attacks, then you’re not really anxious.
• If you can get up and go to work, your depression isn’t real.

In short, if your struggle doesn’t match ‘mine’ or the images we see in the media today, it’s probably not even valid. Hearing any of this from friends, family, & even strangers can be triggering and invalidating, making those who have these experiences less likely to seek the help they might really need.

Functioning depression is a real thing. Trust me on this. From the CEO to the janitor, mental illnesses will look different on everyone. Always.

Okay Maven, so what is gatekeeping??

Our good sis Merriam-Webster says { Yes, this is urban millennial talk} Gatekeeping; 1:One who tends/guards the gate. 2:A person who controls access. In this aspect it’s when you’re trying to control who gets access to particular resources, power , opportunities and who does not. Gate keeping mental illnesses is setting a standard of what an experience should look like or feel like – often invalidating another person’s experience that may not look or feel as ‘society currently says it should.

Take-Away

Be mindful of how you show up or respond to someone that may express to you that they feel they may be in need of any kind of help with their mental health. IT TAKES COURAGE TO ADMIT that they may not be mentally well. It is ok to be just an ear. -Theefairygodmother 🧚🏾‍♀️