What exactly do I mean by this? Insinuating that there’s only one way Mental Illnesses can present itself, intentionally or unintentally minimizing and often invalidating the experiences of others, which can be/feel isolating . Many people would shy away from seeking help from a mental health professional because they now believe that their own experiences aren’t severe enough or that they’re just in their head. You are NOT in your head, your experiences are enough.

Remember that people don’t have to suffer the same way you suffered in order for their experiences to be valid. Suffering will never look the same on any 2 individuals and is not a competition to see who can/has suffered the most. You shouldn’t feel like you need to prove that you’ve been struggling with your mental health.

Gatekeeping may sound something like this:

• You don’t get flashbacks? Oh you don’t have PTSD.
• You can’t be depressed if you were able to leave the house.
• Only people who are extremely depressed don’t go out.
• If you were really struggling, you’d be checked in to a facility.
• You’re not on medication? Then your illness can’t really be real.
• If you don’t get anxiety attacks then you’re not really anxious.

• If you can get up and go to work, your depression isn’t really real.

In a nutshell if your struggle doesn’t look like ‘mine’ or the visuals we see in the media today -they’re probably not even real. Hearing any of the above from friends, family or even a stranger can be extremely triggering and invalidating causing the person who have these experiences to not seek the help that they may really need.

Functioning depression is a real thing. Trust me when I say this. From the CEO down to the Janitor – Mental illnesses will not look the same on anyone. Ever.

Okay Maven, so what is gatekeeping??

Our good sis Merriam-Webster says { Yes, this is urban millennial talk LOL} Gatekeeping; 1:One who tends/guards the gate. 2:A person who controls access. In this aspect it’s when you’re trying to control who gets access to particular resources, power , opportunities and who does not. Gate keeping mental illnesses is setting a standard of what an experience should look like or feel like which is often invalidating to another person’s expierence that may not look or feel as society currently says it should.

Take-Away

Be mindful of how you show up or respond to someone that may express to you that they feel they may be in need of any kind of help with their mental health. IT TAKES COURAGE TO ADMIT that they may not be mentally well. It is ok to be just an ear. -Theefairygodmother 🧚🏾‍♀️